Insights into the character of Despair

It has just occurred to me, as that heart sinking sensation of despair tries to creep over me, that if despair was a person, as it was personified by Spenser in the Faerie Queene, it would be a cheeky cockney guy. He'd knock at your door and say "Hey mate, let me in, will ya? Come on, you know we're mates, let me in and we'll talk about this business idea you've got."
You know that if you let him in then you're buggered, you'll never get rid of him. He'll banish every whiff of hope for the future.
Hope, on the other hand, is a geeky little girl with glasses and ankle socks and she will be saying "Don't listen to him, don't let him in, things will be fine. You're not asking for much, you're not trying to be Alan Sugar, just trust in me and everything will be great."
Nice, right? But Del Boy Despair isn't going to let that go, he'll come chiming in with, "Nah, you don't believe that. How many times have you listened to that silly cow in the past? And what's happened? She's let you down and you've flung the door wide open and let me in. We've hung out and had a good time right? You love wallowing with me when Nerdy Hope lets you down."
Hope says, "Yes, but things will be different this time. Honestly." She's sounding a bit desperate now though.
Despair says, "Come on, let me in, you know I'm right. You just want to lie down with me at your side and wallow. You know these things never work out, don't even bother trying. Why do that to yourself? If you quit now and let me in it'll be a lot better than waiting til later when everything's gone Pete Tong."
Hope has one last shot, but she's sounding ragged and tired now, "No, you have to listen to me. Don't give up, don't give in. Just trust in me and everything will be fine."
Despair is swaggering around out there now, he knows he's going to be let in very soon. "Have I ever let you down? Where's that bitch when everything falls apart? Legged it, that's where. I'm always here for you though, just let me in now and let's have a good old wallow. Yeah, that's what you want."
Now, just at this point, where I'm seriously considering letting despair in, my Internet radio station decides to play that Morrissey song that goes "I was looking for a job and now I've found a job and heaven knows I'm miserable now".
Thanks for that Last.FM.
Come in, Despair, I'll put the kettle on.